Here I am again, a little shattered but not shaken and eager to move on. Yesterday wasn’t a bad day, neither was it a great day, but I decided to talk to friends and keep the rhythm going so that I forget the series of unfortunate events of Monday.
It all started when I reached at work on Monday. I passed by two coworkers and we didn’t exchange greetings. After settling down I decided to go for my coffee run and I was being told that Albert passed away. The news of Albert’s death shook me. He was the greatest guy at work and we happened to be only two who would talk for hours about cricket and politics and India and life in general.
It didn’t even sink in totally when brother called and told me that a guy crashed into his new car. That made me so nervous that I felt like throwing up. That he was unhurt and there was only minor damage to the car and it was entirely other guy’s fault and he was very apologetic about it .. did help me a bit. But I was a total wreck after that call.
I am surprised about how fragile I can be especially, when I firmly believe that I am one of the strongest man on this earth …. I guess I need to do some rethinking about it and probably do something about this as well. Around 1 o’clock, I got out of the building to go home have some tea and relax for an hour or so and have some peace of mind. But nope, when I reached the parking lot I noticed I had a flat tire. Yup a flat tire! I don’t remember when the last time I had a flat tire and this is the first time since I have this car with run flat on it and that means no spare tire. I called the service shop and decided to take my car over there right away. I was so antsy at that time that I ran a red light. Yup I ran a red light. I don’t know what I was thinking and I do know that I did realize that I made a mistake but it was too late to do anything about it, all I saw slammed breaks on two cars and they missed me by inches. In that ordeal, I lost whatever sense I had left in me and I stalled my car right in between that intersection. My heart was pounding and right there I just wanted to SCREAM. I was courageous enough to look outside seeing those two cars backing up and leave. Another guy who was apparently waiting for me to move or do something looked at me and gestured like he was saying “come-on dude move”. I started my car and left the scene. It was 4:30 when I came back to work, picked up my bag and stuff and left for home. When I got home, I cancelled my dinner plans with friends and switched off my phone as I just needed a break from everything and life in general, so I took a nap.
Yesterday was a better day, but all day long I was very uneasy and antsy and aggregative, edgy (even according to my coworkers) and in a very fragile mode. All day long I had weird thoughts running in my mind. I made sure I talk to everyone I love and care about. And the ones I couldn’t talk to, I thought about how much I love them and miss them and thank Gods that they are in my life and how important they are for me. The ones who were not in my mind yesterday, I saw them in my dream ……!!
"Om Tryambhakam Yajamahe
Mrityor Mukshiya Maamritat"